Sunday, May 8, 2011

Hamburger Prince and Baby Octopus - Drabble, modern

Happy Mother's Day! I skipped second part of Best Hamburger in Town and bring you this Mother's Day special. Happy reading, unbeta'ed and no HMS!


The day before the recording.

“Baby Octopus can’t cook.” Alex Darcy murmured. “They only let her go through because her dad is a Lord.”

“You shouldn’t call Carolina that!” His mother Elizabeth chastised him.

“But Uncle Richard and Uncle Charles call her that all the time. They said Auntie Caroline is like an octopus, all over Dad, in the past and now, whenever you’re not here. It’s logical that Carolina is Baby Octopus. Beats calling her Lady Carolina Maximillian. Such a mouthful.”

“Carolina is your cousin by marriage,” Elizabeth explained. “It’s not nice to call her awful nickname.”

Alex thought for a minute. “So it’s not bad to call her Clueless? Dad called her that sometimes.”

“Alex!” She cried out in exasperation. Her son inherited all the self-righteous arrogance from his father.

The day of the recording.

“Hmm, put some orange highlight on her fringe,” Lady Caroline Maximillian instructed the make-up artist. “It will match with Carolina’s orange outfit marvellously.”

Sitting besides them, Alex tried hard to suppress his chuckles. His Dad rolled his eyes while his Mom gave the artist a compassionate glance.

The Production Assistant came in and hurried the five contestants and their parents into the studio. They would be recording the Mother’s Day episode. Nine-year-old Alex Darcy joined this junior celebrity cooking competition show to raise money for children with cancer. Of course, whatever Alex did, Lady Caroline would ensure her only daughter, seven-year-old Carolina followed.

Celebrity Chef Romeo Oliver unveiled the secret ingredients for this cook off.

“You have a selection of meat, seafood, vegetable, sugar and flour to choose from. Carolina, you’ve won the toss, what ingredient will you choose?”

“Choose the sugar, dear!” Lady Caroline yelled from the parents’ bench. “You can cook some decadent chocolate fondant, for Uncle Darcy.” What a small mercy that she whispered the last three words.

Darcy tightened his hold of Elizabeth’s waist and moved as far away from the former Caroline Bingley as possible. Even after 10 years of marriage and three children with Elizabeth, Caroline still hadn’t given up on snaring Darcy one day. It was not surprising. Her husband, except for her title, was twice in size, half in wealth and double in age to William Darcy. But she chose Lord Maximillian almost immediately after Darcy and Elizabeth married. She made her own bed.

Little Carolina frowned and thought for a minute. “I will choose the octopus.”

Alex and his Dad burst out laughing. The production crew didn’t know the joke but captured their merry ways. That shot made a great contrast to Lady Caroline’s dark face.

After that, the other contestants chose their ingredients without much fanfare.

While the celebrity children were cooking, Oliver went round the cooking benches and talked to them, with the cameras in tow.

“Little handsome prince, what are you cooking for us in this Mother’s Day special?” Oliver joked as he asked Alex Darcy.


“That’s quite an easy dish. Why did you choose to cook this during such an important cook off?”

“It’s Mother’s Day. This is dedicated to my Mom. Dad said she cooks the best hamburger in the whole of America. And they met because of my Dad’s search for the best hamburger in town for his tv show many years ago. But I’ll put a twist in. It’s not easy to cook a Love Hamburger.”

“Wow, you even thought of a name for your dish,” Oliver nodded. “Does your mom cook your dad hamburger any more? You must have cook, maids and servants to fill the whole house”

Alex ignored Oliver’s jab. “Mom only cooks hamburger on special days, like their anniversary or Valentine’s Day etc.”

The camera panned to Mr. and Mrs. Day. Elizabeth’s face turned crimson. She thought about the “etc” were mostly the days when Darcy was lustful for a marathon session of love making and needed his favourite food to sustain his energy.

“Now, Carolina,” Chef Oliver moved to the little girl. “Why did you choose octopus?”

“Uncle Charles said Mom like an octopus, all the time.”

Alex suppressed his smile. Uncle Charles said your mom ‘is like’ an octopus!

“Great! That’s very thought of you. Just be careful when you chop up the octopus.” Oliver reminded the fashionably dressed child.

Well, the Mother’s Day episode of Little Genius Cook attracted 10 million viewers in UK and many more millions around the world.

Viewers had since called Alex Darcy the Hamburger Prince as he produced a wonderful and delicious hamburger, the best Chef Oliver had tasted in his life. Alex went on to win the Little Genius Cook title and raised tens and thousands of money for sick children in the London Children Hospital.

Lady Carolina was not so lucky. Much to her mom’s consternation, she messed up both her own and her mother’s orange dresses with black octopus ink on the day. And little Carolina was eliminated because the octopus she cooked was tough as rubber. Her nickname of Baby Octopus stuck with her in school, for years.

Congratulate and commiserate below.

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