Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Product testing - vibrators

I've written a fun story many months ago about product testing - with vibrators. Here is an excerpt to share with you:

The next day, when Elizabeth was led into the office of her new boss, she nearly had a heart attack. Surprisingly the 'impotent rich' man from last night was Fitzwilliam Darcy, her new boss!

Darcy raised his head to look at her. The moment he recognized her, he was all flustered as well. “Miss Bennet, are you not earning enough money from your day job? Or do you have very expensive habits? Why do you need to work at night in a stingy sex shop?”

Bloody arrogant ogling man with double standard! She tried to suppress her anger and replied, “It’s our family business.” Then she couldn’t help herself and added, “If it’s so stingy, why did you bother to come in?”

The red on his face turned deeper. “It’s for our new project.”

“Seven vibrators, four lubricants and 12 packs of condoms? What kind of project are we going to work on, Mr. Darcy?”

“Duress is asking us to design a brand new vibrator. Mrs. Reynolds was impressed by your interview. I have studied your portfolio. You suit my requirements.”

How do I suit you? And what are the lubricants and condoms for? she thought.

“First up, can you test all the vibrators there and give me a detailed report for each of them?” He pointed to a box on the coffee table to his right.

“Test them?”

“Not here.” He swallowed. “Go home, test them and fill out the evaluation forms. I will meet you in three days for a brainstorming session.”

She walked to the coffee table and had a look. “But there are more than 30 vibrators there! You can’t expect me to test them all by myself within three days.”

“You don’t need to actually… uhm… insert them !” He seemed to have lost his patience as well, “although I would prefer that you do. All the other designers are male. I don’t think they can help.”


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