When did I write this drabble? No clue at all. Keyword: elastic
I met Lizzy Bennet when she was 16, a freckle brunette not worth a look. I told my pal Bingley exactly this at the party. She overhead me and shoved me into the pool.
That got me hooked up to this fiery spit fire and my life was doomed! She refused to sleep with me and said I was the most arrogant 15-year-old prick she had met.
But I, William Darcy, was the richest and handsomest kid in Derbyshire, with girls queuing up miles long, wanting to shag me. How could she refuse me?
Her rejection condemned me to three years of misery, self-doubt and longing. But I still remembered one of the happiest days in my life, to meet her again.
It took me a few days to re-acquaint with her and she jumped me one night, after another party. I was totally clueless, still a virgin at 18. She was slightly better, though a virgin too, and managed to sheath the elastic onto my pride just in time.
It was a surreal experience! Our first time together.
The experience was still out-of-the world, after 50 years. My life was blissful, with my dearest loveliest Lizzy!